Happy places

I've spent a lot of my life searching for what I think is going to make me happy, be my 'happy place'. Always daydreaming of things I want to try or could see myself doing. I think I found it.

For most my life, sketching and painting have been my passion. I have so much in my head, fighting with my hands to get out. As much as I loved painting, color and to put the pictures I imagine down on paper or canvas, it has never been my 'happy place'. Such is the reason for the struggle between my head and my hands. Any drawing or paintings I have done have always caused me anxiety. How weird to love something so much and be caused so much stress by it. I don't technically have to paint, and in all the rest of my life, I am the furthest thing from a perfectionist. To make matters worse it had gotten worse as I got older. I had to make myself draw or paint to ease my need to create but it had become a chore to get started.

Almost a year ago I decided to try my hands at wheel thrown pottery. I remembered loving it as a kid, 10-11 yr old I think, but hadn't done anything in more then 25 years. I had to start out in class of experienced potters learning new techniques because it was the only time I could get there. I was so nervous, and thought this could be just like painting but more frustrating as my work literally falls apart in my hands. I was waiting to hate everything I did.

That was so far from what happened. Long story, Short:

Not only was I able to keep up, I was doing so well, others in the class were teasing me, that I must be taking a couple night class. By the end of the first semester, my instructor was suggesting I start applying for shows, and suggesting I should stop giving all my work away and start selling pieces. While that made me beam with pride inside, my self-doubt made me hold out another 6months before I decided to sell anything. In the last few weeks I have slowly eased myself into setting up a Etsy.com shop, and on Saturday evening had my first online sale. Yay, me!

I feel like working with clay has set my creativity free. I love my pottery. Sometimes glazes don't turn out like you thought. It doesn't stress me out. I love it. It's like Christmas when ever something comes out of the kiln. I know pretty much what it will be like but I take a lot of chances, and the variations thrill me. I have never thrown away a bowl or sculpture. I haven't hidden any thing I've thrown from my friends and family out of frustration.

When I am throwing, trimming, waxing, or glazing I am in the zone. No headaches, no joint pain, occasionally my allergies do interfer, but I get lost in the shape of the clay and the color of the glaze. I have to set an alarm on my phone so I get out of the studio in time to beat my youngest's bus home in the afternoon. I seen most faults as aspects of character or a reason to make and altered sculpture.

I love it. I love to share it. It gives me peace. I have found my happy place.

Aine and Aiden Pottery * is also on Facebook. You can link to the shop by clicking on its name or the Facebook page Here.

* I'll explain the name soon!

Finally Starting

I can't even remember how many weeks ago I created this profile, yet no actual blog until today. I've had a lot to talk about and a head full of thoughts to let out. I, in fact,just haven't been brave enough to start typing. I couldn't form the words. I knew I had something to say. I just wasn't ready to allow myself the freedom. Now I am.

I have been so busy ending my soccer season, running kids to play rehearsal, and scouts meetings, but not making myself happy. Don't get me wrong, my children and husband bring me so much joy. I have a need, though, to express myself creatively. That need hasn't been met much lately. Well,.. in a very long time.

I sketch and I write some, but they are only band-aid measures. Sometimes, I even shop because of this. My creative and nesting instincts are entirely to interlinked in my Psyche, but that is another blog. I need to create something. That is why I am finally here, tapping away, putting something out there, into the world.

I have to thank my baby, Jackson. I let him paint in acrylic, on canvas, both for the first time today. He is not finished yet, but Jackson is amazing. His choice of colors, his process.(Sketching a tree and a house 6 times, then taking one look at the naked canvas, palette in hand and saying,"I think I am going to do a heart instead!".) Not to mention that he planned to do a realist painting but changed to abstract, much as his mom does so many times. Seeing him so pleased with his work. All of this pressed me to get on the blog and write something. Thank you, my tiny little pumpkin.(He's small for his age, and red-headed.)

You will notice over time, my spelling is off and my punctuation is atrocious, so bare with me, I write like I paint. Abstract and all over the place. And like my painting, my blogs will likely be sporadic. When I have time or the words for my thoughts I be here. Most of the time, I won't.